NO Failure of long view in adoption is a strategic, economic & humanitarian mistakeOct 19, 2023
National Adoption Week is always emotive. The intent is to recruit adopters. Unsurprisingly some experienced adopters rant at the saccharine articles in newspapers, knowing that below the rhetoric is a deficit of ongoing, deep, appropriate support.
Failing to take the long view, over decades is a strategic, economic and humanitarian mistake.
PAC-UK had a splendid series of truthful and useful blogs that I contributed to back in 2018 during NAW which might resonate with you. In Mondays PAC-UK blog I explored strategies to avoid disappointment: spoiler alert, it’s you that has to change. Having been quiet for months (completing my next book) it’s the most personal blog I’ve ever written.
Sally Donovans letter to the state (Fridays PAC-UK blog) is a cracker explaining how adopted teenagers require so much from their parents, often for few rewards.
The message of all seven blogs is for me; take the long view. It's hard. Bloody hard. Get support. Be honest with yourself and about your situation.
Also the NAW emphasis on siblings worries me. This video explains why and how their trauma bonds can block therapeutic parenting. (Sorry it has a slow start, as I battle with the flip chart paper, but worth staying with it, imho, as the concept is transformational).
Take good care
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