Meet Helen Oakwater

International trainer, speaker, coach, author and adoptive parent.

I'm Helen and I'm the founder of FAB parents. I adopted a sibling group (aged 5, 4 and 2) in the early 1990s from the UK Care System. My approach is pragmatic and real. I have lived with children who lie, steal, self-harm and were expelled from schools, amongst many other things. 

I have worn many different hats in the adoption and fostering world, including:

  • Running a local (Adoption UK) support group for adopters for a decade
  • Membership of the Government Adoption Task Force
  • Trustee for the charity Adoption UK for 6 years
  • Delivered training on Trauma Triggered Behaviour to thousands of parents and professionals in the UK, Australia and New Zealand
  • Conference speaker and lobbyist

Outside of work I'm an avid traveller and adventurer and can often be seen on any of the 4 corners of the world, trying something new and sharing my knowledge. 

I'm also a highly qualified and experienced Executive and Personal Coach, mBIT and NLP Trainer, working with clients from various backgrounds to help them create a compelling future and dissolve past traumas.

My first book Bubble Wrapped Children: How Social networking is transforming the face of 21st-century adoption published in 2012, took the issue of how Facebook is enabling birth families to reconnect to their children (who had been removed by the courts) onto the front page of The Times newpaper and national press. 

My second book Want to Adopt: How to prepare yourself to parent a child from the care system is now available to buy worldwide and has reached #4 on Amazon's Bestseller's List.



I'm a leading learner. I have a commitment (some might call it an addiction) to learning, self improvement, digesting information then sharing the material, ideas and effective interventions. I've travelled the globe for several decades learning from the best in their field.

NLP (Neuro Lingusitic Programming) (over 200 days)

  • NLP Practitioner (2×20 days with Ian McDermott: ITS London)
  • NLP Master Practitioner (2×20 days with with Ian McDermott: ITS London)
  • NLP Coach (20 days with Ian McDermott & Jan Elfine: ITS London)
  • NLP Trainer (20 days with Robert Dilts, Judy DeLozier, Suzi Smith: NLPU: Santa Cruz, California)
  • NLP Coach & Modelling (16 days x2 with Robert Dilts, Judy DeLozier NLPU: Santa Cruz, California)
  • Success Factor Modelling(15 days with Robert Dilts, Judy DeLozier NLPU: Santa Cruz, California)
  • Plus various short courses, seminars, conferences, etc

mBIT (multiple Brain Integration Technique)

  • mBIT Coach (4 days with Suzanne Henwood: Birmingham)
  • mBIT Master Coach (6 days with Grant Soosla, Suzanne Henwood,Wilbert Molenaar, Amsterdam)
  • mBIT Coach Trainer (6 days with Grant Soosla: Melbourne, Australia).

TPM (Thought Pattern Management)

  • Practitioner (12 days with Fiona Sutherland: Penzance, UK)

Group Mastery Certification (Group Dynamic & Non Verbal Communication skills)

  • Fully Certified (2x 16 days with Michael Grinder, ITS London)

"Helen Oakwater gave an interesting lecture in our National Child Welfare Conference in Jyväskylä, Finland on 27-28 September 2016. The conference had nearly 1,200 participants and it was aimed for professionals in the field of child welfare. Helen’s lecture Does Lack of Truth-Telling Destabilise a Child’s Life Journey? was valued among participants. I can warmly recommend Helen for other conferences to speak about similar topics. Helen’s talent as a lecturer would certainly bring additional value to other events. The feedback from the participants supports my opinion."

Hanna Heinonen
CEO, Central Union for Child Welfare Finland

"Helen Oakwater was brilliant and the content was important. We need more speakers like her!"

"The way she lectures is great and it is easy to understand."

"The content of the lecture was remarkably interesting and good."

"Helen was impressive, the lecture was full of information, emotional, important and superbly presented."

"Helen Oakwater was the star of the conference! An important topic and she had a charming way to present."

"The lecture of Helen Oakwater was one of the best I have ever heard – and I have heard many."


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